What is Transformational Coaching?

Transformational coaching is all about making fundamental change at the root level, not just tinkering with things on the surface. Now, you’ve probably heard something like that before. And, I agree, it does sound rather airy-fairy, aspirational and non-specific. But it isn’t. I work with tools that have been developed specifically to address what is happening in your body and mind. This is science-backed. So, if you would like to understand more, please read on…

A quick introduction to your nervous system

The emotional impact of everything that we experience is registered by your nervous system.¹ The lessons that you learn from those experiences are stored in your subconscious mind. So, I like to think of this as if it is writing a computer program.

Basically, the event takes place, you experience a set of emotions, and you respond in the best way you know how. This becomes a program. The subconscious mind records what you perceive to be the main characteristics about the event. It also records your emotions, and your actions. This is the program (very simplistically).

So, putting this into the context of your computer, this might be the App (program) that you use to call a cab…say. (Feel free to use any App that makes sense to you for this example). The next time you wish to call a cab, you just press the button for that App and the program runs automatically and your cab materialises. Brilliant. This saves you time and effort and gets the result you want.

A Real-life Illustration

Moving back to your subconscious mind, the same thing happens. I’ll use an example from my life. When I was about 18 months old, my grandparents’ dog decided to lunge at me. Fortunately, my Mum was there, was alert, and grabbed me before the dog reached me. I have absolutely no conscious memory of this event. The only thing I “know” is what my Mum told me, years later. And do you know why she ended up telling me? Because I was terrified of dogs. I might be out walking in the park and a dog would come running up to me, wanting to be petted. My conscious mind could see it was a cute dog. My conscious mind could read that the dog was trying to be friendly. And, consciously, I was willing to pet the dog.

At the same time, my subconscious mind recognised a dog running towards me. And it pressed the button to activate the program I had unconsciously installed in reaction to “dog running towards me”. My body would immediately become paralysed with fear and I would have the strongest instinct to run away.

I ran the programme automatically, completely reliably for over four decades. My conscious mind had no desire to do this (unless I really was about to be attacked by a dog!) In other words, the majority of the time, that program was not getting me the results I wanted.

Now, that happens to be a fairly harmless example. But what about the programs I installed that tell me how to respond when someone starts shouting at me? Or the programs that shape my relationship with money? How about the programs that sit behind my attitude towards work?

It’s a tangled web that we weave

This is probably sounding pretty depressing, right? Well, I need to share a couple more pieces of information before we get on to the good news and look at the solutions provided by Transformational Coaching.

This system of installing programs begins from birth…maybe even earlier. It seems that some of the programming is learned by the foetus in the womb. And, if you are open to broader ideas that you maybe think of as “spiritual”, then some of the programming is also coming from past lives (Karma). And if you’re not open to that idea, just politely set it to one side. You can still understand this model and benefit from Transformational Coaching without needing to buy into past lives and Karma. Although, I will add that the idea of humans having past lives is not simply “fantasy”: Quantum Physics explains how this is possible.²

Understanding the programming

As I’ve said, the process of creating these programs and (later) running them, is automatic. Scientists will tell you that the majority of this programming occurs between the ages of 0 and 7. And during those years, the child’s brain is observing and learning from its entire environment. So, this is the other piece of bad news. Many of the programs you’re running don’t even belong to you. Maybe your program for dealing with someone shouting at you, is actually the program you learned from your older sibling, or one of your parents, or another relative or carer. Your developing brain simply noticed “a person shouting”, noticed the response of the person being shouted at, and registered that behaviour as appropriate to that trigger. Bam! New program installed!

Around the age of 7, the part of the brain that is capable of analysis starts to come online. So, at that point, if you choose, you can have more control over the programs you install. You are now gaining the capacity to ask an important question: does this program give me the results I want? If the answer is “no”, then maybe you don’t install it. Or maybe you correct it.

Neurons that fire together wire together

Again, you climb to the top of the mountain. If you’re conscious, then you will recognise the paths you have previously tried, remember they didn’t get you the results you wanted, and you will look for another solution. But if you’re unconscious, you might just follow one of the existing tracks again because it looks easier. Basically, your previous attempts conditioned certain neurons to fire together. And, as you repeated this pattern, these neurons eventually wired together. Hence it becomes natural to just keep taking that route.

However, you can carve out a new path entirely. The first time you do this, you’re going to need to be very conscious, so you can steer around any hazards you meet on the way down. Then, once you have the path that creates the route you truly wish to take, you need to repeat it. Again, this is going to require some conscious effort. But eventually, with enough repetition, you are going to have created a sufficiently deep groove in the snow to allow you to follow this path automatically. In other words, your subconscious mind has now installed a new program. Or, rather, upgraded an old program.

This metaphor explains how we create new habits and new patterns of behaviour. Neurons that fire together wire together. But we need to keep firing them together to create that automatic re-wiring!

The 95% “Rule”

So, now we come on to the last piece that I want to introduce for now. You’ve just learned that you have a subconscious (automatic) mind and a conscious (creative) mind. But which of them does the most to govern our day-to-day experience?

You may be able to answer that: generally, it’s the subconscious. However, take this on board… According to Dr Bruce Lipton’s research, 95% of the time, we are governed by the subconscious. Just think about it… That’s 95% of your life that is running automatically, according to programs that you may have installed in a previous life, or during your time in the womb, or during the first few years of life, or simply copied from other people!

So, if you have ever reflected on your behaviour and thought, “oops – I was acting like a toddler!”, that’s why. You were simply running the program that you installed when you really were a toddler.

And I know where you’re probably going next… Blame and shame! But stop… None of us does this deliberately. Your parents (or other people) didn’t “do this to you”. This is simply our natural biology at work. And thank goodness for that. Every single program that you installed has got you to where you are right now. They all helped you survive!

So, now you have a choice. Do you like the programs you’re running? Are there any you want to delete or upgrade? Because, now you’re a full-grown adult with access to your conscious mind, you can make those decisions. And, transformational coaching can give you the tools to make the changes you desire…

How Can Transformational Coaching Help You?

I am trained to use the tools of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Hypnotherapy and Time Line Therapy®. I use these modalities to guide and support you to:

• Quickly uncover the root cause of what’s keeping you stuck in trauma, old habits and patterns, disease or underachievement.
• Release the emotional charge from triggering events and emotional traumas in your past.
• Get completion on unresolved events and integrate into wholeness the parts of you that may feel lost or broken.
• Release limiting beliefs, negative emotions, and unwanted habits, and give your life new meaning which empowers you to heal your body, mind and heart and start living the life you really desire.

This process of Transformational Coaching bridges the gap between science and spirituality. I am also a trauma-informed coach (more on that in a moment!) The Transformational Coaching techniques that I use integrate everything that I have studied and personally experienced, in order to help people like you understand yourself better. Then, use this new understanding to overcome the challenges that are keeping you stuck. You really can move forward to experience all your life in an empowered, positive way that brings in the things you truly desire.

We can also combine these techniques with the power of Bioenergetics. Gain even greater clarity about the issues blocking your progress by taking a simple Bioenergetic scan. Find out what that involves by following this link.

Ready to get started with some Transformational Coaching?

If you want to get started right away, just select the path that most closely matches the specific problem you wish to work on at the moment…

How does Transformational Coaching Relate to Trauma?

Most people do not understand how pervasive trauma is in our society. Very few of us would perceive ourselves to be carrying any trauma. I know I never labelled myself at “traumatised”. And yet, it was only by coming to understand – and heal – my trauma, that I finally healed from chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS).

So, why is it that we lack this understanding? Well, the way I see it, we are dealing with two common misconceptions…

The first misconception

I believe that most people think trauma is an event. And, if that is the case, we’re doomed! You can’t go back and un-do the events that happened in your life. So, if you had the misfortune to have been involved in a traumatic event, you’re simply going to have to suffer the consequences.

Wrong. Trauma is NOT the event itself. It is the energetic, chemical and biological reaction to the event. In other words, when you experience a traumatic event, the Energy in your biofield can become frozen. This, in turn will impact your chemistry (hormones) and biology (cells). You may carry memories of the event, which, when triggered, can elevate your Central Nervous System. And, your body is also storing unconscious memories which change your biology.³

Now, whilst it is not possible to un-do an event, it is possible to re-program the trauma patterns that the event created. And yes, the Transformational Coaching techniques I use, can work on that.

The second misconception

This may be even more important than the first issue. As a general rule, we have a “list” of what we consider to be traumatic events. So, violent assault, war, a car crash would all figure on that list. You may not have thought about it this way, but more common life-changing events like losing your job or being diagnosed with a serious illness – like CFS – can also be traumatic.

Those types of events commonly result in a specific type of trauma: PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder). As I have just said, this can be treated.

What very few people recognise is that we are all exposed to a much less obvious type of trauma: Developmental Trauma.⁴ This occurs (mostly) between the ages of 0-4. So, we won’t remember it happening. And, although it can be about things that were done to us, it also involves things that were withheld from us. These are key skills that set us up for life. In other words, the programs we installed in our early years. Or, the adaptations we made in order to survive.

Again, this type of trauma can be healed. But it takes time. It is a process, as I explained in one of the other foundational roots, The Energy Maze (follow this link to learn more about that).

We can use these two systems together, or on their own to create deep, lasting change. And that is what you can experience if you choose to work with me, or use any of the resources here in the Find My Energy site.

Now, that is the briefest top-level overview of trauma, and its relationship to health and the behaviour patterns that are keeping you stuck in any area of life. If you wish to explore further, then I invite you to download my free ebook…

Start your Transformational Coaching here

So, are you ready to begin?

If you still feel you would like more background information, you can explore the other main pillars behind the Find My Energy solution here. Or, you can cut to the chase and start your transformation right now. Just pick from one of the following options…

1. If you are interested in learning more about the Nervous System and how it impacts our lives, I recommend reading The Body Keeps the Score by Dr Bessel van der Kolk, or diving into the work of Dr Peter Levine as a starting point. ↩︎
2. If you wish to explore this topic further and begin to understand some of the science, then I recommend two excellent books: Biocentrism by Dr Robert Lanza. Also, The Holographic Universe by Dr Michael Talbot. The phenomenon of Near Death Experiences (NDEs) also sheds a lot of light in this area. Again, this is not something “made-up”: Dr Talbot addresses this phenomenon (and some of the scientific studies about it) in his book. Or, you might also enjoy this YouTube channel, which has collated the experiences of hundreds of “NDE-ers”, https://www.youtube.com/@TheOtherSideNDEYT/videos ↩︎
3. This is also covered in Dr Bessell Van Der Kolk’s book (footnote 1), and two other experts whom I really love and from whom I have learned a huge amount, are Dr Aimie Apigian and Dr Gabor Mate ↩︎
4. One of the best books on this topic (in my opinion) is Healing Developmental Trauma by Drs Aline Lapierre and Laurence Heller. ↩︎